isurvivedthekobayashimaru:

I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.

And I think I actually scared him because his eyes got kind of wide and he just walked away.

1 day ago with 145,457 notes — via princeblainers, © shesdonejim
#laughing #Jesus #too legit to quit


nerdache-cakes:

All of you are wrong. The J in GIF is silent. Like in José.

Hif.

1 week ago with 28,100 notes — via yaderp, © nerdachecakes
#lAUGHING #JESUS


guncomfortable:

Being told I was smart and above average from a young age was probably one of the worst things to happen to me because now I have a complex and question my entire existence when I dont excel at something right away

100% accurate

1 week ago with 142,999 notes — via dannegerous, © vampirevvekend
#about me #Jesus


bathroomwallanarchy:

They’re not the best but…

bathroomwallanarchy:

They’re not the best but…

2 weeks ago with 58,699 notes — via goddamnright, © bathroomwallanarchy
#LAUGHING #JESUS


3 weeks ago with 5,039 notes — via tresbellemichelle, © berrydevon
#about me #Jesus #i was just telling K this about myself the other day i can't stop laughing SAME DARREN SAME #also you #you are so attractive it's actually offensive i am offended #person: you're a dream #look at you #LOOK #ugh #don't touch me


3 weeks ago with 595 notes — via -foodporn
#i will do Things #Jesus #get in my mouth


3 weeks ago with 29 notes — via disneyeating
#weeps #i will do Things for kettle corn #you don't understand #i have like a constant low-level desire for it??? #and then during homicide-week it just skyrockets and ugh please #give me #get in my mouth #Jesus


dai-ruinas:

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1 month ago with 54,849 notes — via darrencokefer, © dj-baby-bokchoy
#i was fisted once #get money #i'M CYRIURNG #LAUGHING #JESUS


1 month ago with 653 notes — via kobean, © candyful
#i will do Things #Jesus #get in my mouth


montselovesfood:

captain-snark:

manafromheaven:

biteythevillain:

lawfulawful:

velocipedestrienne:

Ugh you guys I was so confused for like ten seconds. Apparently I’ve forgotten how to read headlines.

GOD

SNORT

HAHAHAHAH

I am uncomfortable with how long it took me to read this correctly…

montselovesfood:

captain-snark:

manafromheaven:

biteythevillain:

lawfulawful:

velocipedestrienne:

Ugh you guys I was so confused for like ten seconds. Apparently I’ve forgotten how to read headlines.

GOD

SNORT

HAHAHAHAH

I am uncomfortable with how long it took me to read this correctly…

1 month ago with 93,384 notes — via youweremydoctor, © velocipedestrienne
#it took me way too long to get to my OH moment #laughing #Jesus #Doctor Who